Welcome.

Dear reader,

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Welcome to my webpage – this is my first blog post.

This WordPress contains some of my writings, often after I have read a book or come across some tidbits of information that stood out to me and that I will like to log down or share.

Education is a privilege the impoverished do not have access to. Hence, I personally agree that reading and writing are gems anyone who has the opportunity to experience should indeed treasure and learn to develop. This WordPress website was created by me in May, 2017, in order for me to share with the public tidbits of new knowledge I have learned or reflections I gathered from my day-to-day activities. I hope that anyone who comes across this webpage will be blessed and will bless me with positive criticism in return.

Reading is the Inhale

Oh, I do not know

 

Mind Palace (pencil drawing)
“Mind Palace”, surrealistic perspectivism pencil art by @thecynterested (Instagram user)

 

Oh, I do not know.

Oh, how little I do know.

I do know that I know little, but how little I do know, I do not know. I do know that I do not know much, but how much I do not know, I do not know. I do know that I know little but how much I know, I do not know. I do know that I do not know much, but how little I know, I do not know. I only know that I know little and I do not know much. How much I do not know and how little I do, I do not know.

I guess I just really do not know much and know very little; how much or how little

I do not know.

Another Poem: “Seconds, minutes, Ours”

There’s a sadness

that settles in

when you draw

nearer to me.

 

It’s a sour smile

; lemonade for a while

; you serenade and beguile

; our handmade isle dreamed well in style –

 

Picked up my pencil

that settled in

My palm and grasp

Lines drawn free.

 

We’re actually competing

And you’re clearly well ahead of me

You’re actually completing

As you were always one complete entity –

 

But a thousand pillars behind

The layout made no sense to me

I’m actually sealed in the second hand

Clock ticking one two three infinity.

 

I was meant for sandcastles

You were made for wooden huts

We cannot design our log cabin

When worlds’ apart

are we and our hearts.

 

The silent night

Turned the volume up

The clear sky bright

stars

Blurred

tears

rainfall

into

my cup.

 

“I know” – A Poem

 

I know.

I know the most precious things in life

Are like the sound of a moving knife

Like the power of the edge of its blade

And not its physical form man-made.
I know.

I know the most beautiful things in life

Are like the bond of husband and wife

Like the connection – an invisible and priceless string

And not the monetised diamond ring.
I know.

I know the things that get you there

Are more than just the clothes you wear

Like the blood, sweat, tears and shame

Shed unmeasurably throughout the game;

But even though the world exists behind our eyes,

It’s now crafted out of bricks of lies

And it breaks my heart to have to say,

I don’t see a point in Earth having another day.

Anorexia is a Religion

“I turned to my right – she wasn’t there. Something’s not right. Someone has left. She faded faster than a shadow ever did. Then it struck me: she hasn’t been around for a long time. We should have known; she was lighter than air. Lighter than a balloon, thinner than a string. We should have known, long ago, that the cannibal inside of her would have consumed her soul. We had tried our best but she sucked stronger than any blackhole. She was so hungry she practically ate a fourth of us up as well. She wouldn’t be able to feel it, though, because by then her stomach had already digested itself. I don’t think she knows, either, because it was eating into her brains. I couldn’t even cry, didn’t and wouldn’t try. She was so thin I couldn’t see her because she could fit between my eyes. She was so weak her voice was so soft it couldn’t reach my ears. I could hear from her of her no more. When was she gone, why did she disappear? I couldn’t love her because there was nothing there for us to love. Then the cold, selfish, evil thought struck me like lightning – She didn’t love us, because she couldn’t be and wouldn’t be there for us either. The saddest part that stabbed my heart was realizing we were so apart. Perhaps she will love us and come back some day, the day she realizes she too wants to stay. And on that day we will be here with open arms as we always have tried our best to be.”

If you had read my previous post about how dieting can consume a person’s social, emotional and psychological life, you wouldn’t have been taken aback by the above poem/prose. I am (quite obviously and logically) neither a fan of depression, anorexia or any eating disorders.

I recently came across an article, (link: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/06/sisters-eating-disorder-missed-breakfast?CMP=share_btn_fb) which added fuel to the anti-ana fire within me. Of course, many other articles, videos, books and documentaries may speak much more informedly of eating disorders, going on about how it is both physical and emotional suicide, but this article, extending into the perspective of an anorexic’s family, struck my heart like a perfect chord on the strings of a guitar and was what ignited the spark in me to compose this article and speak up about the deadly ‘disease’.

Eating disorders come in all sizes and it has been argued that we should not only be placing attention on the deadly thin girls who live up to the stereotypical image of an anorexic. A person could be struggling with obsessive dieting or exercising habits and still camouflage within the crowd, look average or maybe even above average. Anorexia, some say, is a concern as long as it harms an individual in his or her lifestyle and hence happiness.

Personally, anorexia as a medical term includes the symptom of being underweight and thus we cannot escape the biological aspect with scales and numbers. However, the term “anorexia” has still been overused, glamourized even (in pro-ana communities), because one indeed has to be underweight (by the scale) in order to be confirmed as an anorexic. If one is not underweight but fulfils the criteria for all other anorexic-like behaviours, then one can be labelled as EDNOS (Eating disorder not otherwise specified) which may or may not make the patient think she is “not even worthy to be called an anorexic” but would be more factually accurate. The issue hence lies with the underlying connotation behind the label “anorexic” which we cannot deny, entails the criteria of being underweight, and should actually not be compared alongside the term EDNOS. Both anorexia and EDNOS are equally serious medical conditions that require attention and cure – no one exceeding the other in “success” of being anorexic, whether or not the patient had really intended to look deadly thin. This means that it does not matter if the patient has or has not reached a certain look or weight or even how he or she reaches that look or weight, but as long as he or she has a pursuit or interest of looking skeletal and follows it with great devotion, then he or she has an eating disorder. This is why we can label a person being “in the early stages of anorexia, currently diagnosed as EDNOS” if he or she fulfils all the criteria for anorexic behaviour but is not underweight. A little bit like how you differentiate HIV and AIDS – HIV develops into AIDS at the third stage; likewise, EDNOS can develop into bulimia, anorexia or exercise addiction, and should not be taken any lighter than its later stages. All of them are mental struggles with not necessarily conspicuous physical symptoms and anyone could develop them. They are indeed contagious and everyone should be wary of them.

In conclusion, anorexia is a religion. It is the worship of Ana, an imagined “God of Fatlessness”, a projection and pursuit or interest of the skeletal version of the self and it is followed with such great devotion that one faces the risk of death. Anorexia is not just an obsessive compulsive disorder. It is not just a possibly contagious illness. It destroys the body, destroys the soul, destroys minds and destroys relationships. It is almost like a zombie apocalypse and it threatens everyone to join the walking dead. It is a religion that ought to be banished and banned.

Another Poem: “True Questions to a Philosopher”

Domestic Lightning_Moment(2)

Is it wrong or right to light a fire or two

When to quell a fire, I have no clue?

Is it irresponsible to seek death

When, figuratively, every day I perish in its aftermath?

Is it good or bad to spend my time there

Where castles are made only out of air

When they claim I already have no time to spare

Because, in the end, there is nothing really worth anyone’s care?

So is it okay to not want to grow

Or to take my time and go real slow –

Please tell me because I really need to know –

Since no one judges the judger up there or down below?

 

Why you should make Time for food and should buy Time for dieting

Plate of Time

So we all know how priceless Time is. Why then, would I still recommend you to buy Time when it comes to dieting? That’s because we know that food is our social glue. We also know how much everyone who is on a diet becomes isolated and tends to go solo. If you have Time for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper (literally), and focus less on dieting, focusing on a productive use of time on work, family and friends, trust me, life would taste much better. And at the end of it, you would be glad you had a balanced plate of nutrition in life rather than becoming both never satisfied with your body and lonely.

First things first – how does Time taste?

Personally, breakfast tastes sweet because I take my own sweet Time. Lunch is generally bitter because I don’t make enough Time for it. Dinner would be so salty about it and taste as dry as humour because I made it wait so long it felt like a joke and had to take seconds. Supper would be a light side, probably Time fries.

Now, I am not saying that you shouldn’t watch your diet. The watch is simply less important when it comes to dieting as compared to how you spend your time. No, it isn’t all wonderful or horrible, and my diet isn’t the best, but the main takeaway is that balanced nutrition in life is important. When you lie in a coffin, isn’t about the shape you end up with but the experience you have had with others and how you had spent your time. Never have too much time on your hands – but give some time to yourself, some time to others, and don’t even think about dieting. Time is too short to be free and have it alone. Time should be bought when it comes to dieting. So go out there and make Time for your family and friends! Don’t eat up your own Time by wasting it on diets.

Remember that when the diet starts, you risk starting to die.

Discretion; This post is meant to both denounce any pro-ana sentiments and egg on a good work-life balance. It does not encourage poor dieting habits but emphasizes on how time-consuming and energy-wasting dieting is. It redefines what a healthy lifestyle means by zooming out into the big picture of life – especially the psychological, emotional and social aspects of it, instead of attributing health to a person’s physique (which is what any eating disorder drives a person to do).